Stanford freshmen try co-founding an AI startup

LinkedIn Intern Roast LinkedIn interns, where are you? Everybody pointing to this guy. Who are you? I'm good. How are you? Wait, I said [screaming], already a broken tech person interaction. Let me try here. Try communicating with this intern, please. Who are you? My name is Sai. Sai, what do you do at LinkedIn? You're talking to him like he's so stupid. What do you do at LinkedIn, little guy? Yeah. What do you do at LinkedIn? I'm on the data pipelines team at LinkedIn. Explain what the data pipeline is at LinkedIn. Tell us about the data pipeline. Yeah. We want to know. Okay. Okay. Um, you have a lot of data and you want to see like what's up with the data and see. [laughter] All right. All right. You want to see what's up with it. You're like, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This guy went to Stanford. [cheering] I'm about to go there. I'm about to go there. You're about to? Yeah. Wait, what? Are you 17? No, I just graduated from Georgia Tech and I'm about to go there for Stanford. Oh, okay. Why do you need another degree? Uh, haven't you already achieved your dream working at the data pipeline at LinkedIn? What more could you want, you greedy bastard? I don't know. My mom made me apply. [laughter] What's your personal? How what is this? This is just LinkedIn but black. Alcohol-related motor deaths. What? Huh? Oh, this is kind of sad, bro. What? Can you walk us through that project? Yeah. Why did you visualize alcohol related motor deaths? Why do you have to visualize? It was like um it was like a project like in high school where it was like, 'Oh, how do you use R and stuff?' And so I did on how age affects or how use how how much a driver uses. Sound like you're about to be in an alcohol-related death. [laughter] It's just seeing like if there's a correlation between. Bro, could you walk in a straight line right now? [laughter] What'd you say? How are you going to Stanford? Yeah. What the [ __ ] Does anybody work for a really interesting startup? Settle that. We're YC summer batch start off right now. Oh, fresh meat. [laughter] YC Startup Pitches Yeah, the YC summer batch. How much runway do you have? Ah, it's it's kind of beautiful. It's like this fragile thing like meeting one of those butterflies that are only alive for a day. 18 months. 18 months. 18 months. Yeah. Yeah. And what do you call it? Dead. Dead labs. Dead. Death labs. Dedalus labs. Like the Greek mythology. Deathilus. Detilus. Detilus. Datalus. But the modern spelling cuz the domain name was bought. Which uh which Greek? So I haven't heard of this Greek guy. Uh so Icarus was um he flew too close to. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. And you're 18 months old. [laughter] We're one and a half months old. Who's the who's the Greek guy that you named your thing after? If not Icarus. Datalus. Datalus. Who the [ __ ] is Datalus? Yeah. I don't know that guy. He's the father of Icarus. Um the wings in the labyrinth. Yeah. Just some big guy that lives on her street named Datalus. He is famous for creating a product that led to the death of a child. [laughter] Uh, and they found that inspiring. They're like, uh, we found that very inspiring. Is your mission to kill children? Our mission is to kill as few children. At least adults as possible. All right, Brandon. It's just datalis. Capital data lon's children's names. Yeah, close. More D's, more lus. L US data lus lus data. Yeah, like that. A skilled craftsman, an inventor. So, did you expect your company to come up or something else? Yeah. So, we haven't launched yet, but we are launching today. What? You haven't launched yet? Do you say you're launching today? You can pip install us now. Why did you just Why did you just spend six minutes spelling out the name if we can't find it online? [laughter] You you can go on to. WE HAVE A WEBSITE. You have a website? I want to try this guy. What is this guy? This guy, he's very enthusiastic. So, I want to give him a chance. Tell us tell us about your startup. You like this guy? And it's way too hot in this room for you to be wearing. Oh my god. Well, yo, why are you puffed up right now, dude? He [ __ ] put his logo on a [ __ ] Arcter jacket. That's pretty cool. Hey, I'm the intern. I'm the. You got You got to really believe in the company to be sweating like this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And what high school do you go to? Uh, I'm a college student. I go to UCLA. Oh, okay. Cool. Nice. I looked at your LinkedIn. You also go to UCLA. I I don't currently go there in the past. And I think your comedy is as good as our football team. Why are you? [laughter] What? What? Who knows? Like, dude, you've been waiting all day to say that [ __ ] dude. I know you [ __ ] have. He's like, I got a [ __ ] real you. Okay. So, are you an intern there or what? Correct. I'm an intern. You have an obnoxious aura about you. Yeah. That suggests that you will grow up into an obnoxious grown man. Okay. So, what do you what type of intern are you? And what is safety kit? Uh we do uh AI for. Oh, you do AI. Cool. Really innovative. Trust and safety. Sweating profusely. How can we trust you? I'm so sweaty. Sweating is fine. How are you doing trust and safety? You're you're a child. How who would trust you with safety? Explain explain that part. Hey, I I work with my uh the co-founders and all the founding engineers. I do what they tell me. And any of them grown-ups? All of them. Okay. Okay, that's good. I'm going to I'm going to be honest you. We don't care about safety kit, but I do want to learn about you as a human. Interesting. Tell us a little bit about... We want to help you find your parents. [laughter] My name is Tyler. Last name Xiao. Okay. Everybody, Dude, I feel like your LinkedIn is kind of racist. Why do you have Shaolong Bao back there, bro? Hey, I like [laughter] I like dumplings. We see his [ __ ] cover photo again. This is crazy, bro. Soup dumplings, bro. Okay, you can scroll down a bit more. Wait, wait, wait. He has something planned for us. We scroll down. He wants to show us something. Leading us to somewhere. Yeah, look at the live video demo. I have um something. He's just trying to advertise his this company so bad. He's been waiting all day for this moment. Unlucky for you, we have ads. You didn't even get to do it. Next time, dude. That's crazy that an ad just protected us from a potentially embarrassing moment. It almost worked though. You got very close. You flew so close. Yeah. So close to the sun. I'll show him without a tan or haircut. [laughter] Uh, please to left. Yeah. Okay. That's Gus. I met Gus yesterday or two days ago. Yeah. Okay. Uh, what what's the company? Uh, why are you that guy after a makeover? [laughter] Gus a good looking dude. I I like I like their dynamic. I like them as a as a duo. They're like Steve Bosnjak and some random peach. [laughter] Well, uh, tell us about your startup. Do you have a startup? Yeah. Oh, well, I don't know if it's start off like now. What happened? [laughter] We allow parents and and campers kids to find camps on a map instead of searching Google. What? Yeah. So, if I'm a random man without kids, I can just find kids' camps near me. [laughter] Yeah, that's right. So, it's sort of like a kid campfinder. Yeah, kid finder. Yeah. [laughter] Who is your target user? Parents. Parents and creeps, dude. Yeah, creep. Yeah, I know. I'm kind of nervous. Yeah, I bet. Are you a beta tester? No, I'm. Do you you sort of have a beta tester vibe if you know what I mean. Who are you and why do you look so similar? [laughter] Do you have kids? I have two. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Six- and three-year-old, but I met him two days ago at. And you're fine with anyone finding out what camp they're at? Yeah. If it's going to. And now I'm building another software that's going to resemble like Shopify. It's, yeah. Why are you scared? What about this is making you uncomfortable? 'Cause we want you to be comfortable. I'm trying to be comfortable. I'm not very good at speaking. I mean, it's an uncomfortable premise he has here. Kids are going to camps and then he's integrating a feature where you can buy and sell them websites. How many how many users there have? Uh 300 colleges maybe and then uh 60,000 pedophiles. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Keep it going for him. Keep it going for him. Keep it going. Hey, Dude. Oh, you're the whitest guy I've ever seen, bro. I know. It's my my pride and joy. Tell us. I'm the founder of Rhythm. We're a online music listening platform where you can listen to music with your friends and play games. People who are hanging out on Discord can synchronize their music. So, it's a Discord user that joins your voice channel and will play music for you and your friends. Make some noise if you use rhythm. Do you know this, Rada? Cool. Okay. Oh, wow. Nice. How did you make it being a kid in a bedroom and being like, 'Oh, I want to listen to music with my' Don't talk about kids in the bedroom because he starts making weird noises. She just made a weird noise when you said that. Which one of you is the more important one? I'm CEO. CEO. And you? What are you? CTO. And equity split. 50/50. 50/50 basically. Oh, basically. What do you mean? [laughter] Yeah, our lawyer told us to give me one more share. And did you guys meet while you were dying on the Oregon Trail or how did you guys um [laughter] we're building physics informed foundation models? Yeah. Uh is it video based or how are you teaching at physics? Uh we're working with [laughter] so like it's like physics equations that basically govern it's like simulations that basically tell you how physics like interacts with the physical models. The number of basically that a founder says is directly proportional to how little they know about the product. Okay. Okay. Now we'll have you try try try to describe describe it. Oh, we're just we're basically training. [laughter] She explained it well. It is it's physics informed neural networks. You wouldn't need to actually compute anything because it would just navigate through the space of physics. [laughter] Like it would just just like a language model knows the next [laughter] I think I think I think you know what you're saying. Okay. And is it is it just you developing it? Yeah, that's our Yeah, we're we're the only people on the team. I'm like I have a research obviously she's she's useless. [laughter] Oh, I see. There you go. Okay. All right. And what uh what background do they have? We finished our freshman year at Stanford. I see. And were you physics and she business? Uh no, we're both computer science. Well, she's technical guys. She's She knows how to code. Chaotic Harmony Labs Hello. How are you guys doing? Yes. Yes. My name is Uproot. I'm building Chaotic Harmony Labs. Chaotic Harmony Labs. Yes. It's pretty metal. Thanks. I want to change everything about how humans empathize and communicate with each other. Oh, nice. You want them to do it worse? Are you looking for more empathy or less empathy? More empathy. Less polarization. How how are you doing it? So, uh the first step is a decentralized social media. No, [laughter] not crypto, not web three. The the path of more empathy is obviously on the blockchain. Yeah. No, I swear it's not on the blockchain. Decentralized. Where is it? It's on blue skies at protocol. Okay. Yeah. And and how are you making people more empathetic? So the goal is that um well basically like how basically [laughter] how how a social media algorithm works is like your profile and uh different items are in a space and the space like what are you saying? you like there are different people like moving around in this space like interacting with posts and we can bring them together by doing principal component analysis. How does that materialize in like a social media context? Basically like you're talking about like it's in space like space and stuff. I don't exist in that plane, brother. In a social media context, you can visualize the clusters of content that you're most shown and you can also like you can basically visualize your echo chamber. How is how's different? It's just everything all at once or like what are you saying? No, like you'll be able to just like see like clusters. Bro, are you tripping right now, bro? I'm trying to see what you're seeing. I can't see it. He's like on right now. I have a demo. I have a demo. Like if you want to pull. No. We want We want your words. We want you to explain it. It'll be dumb. All right. It'll be silly. Yeah. With the hand. Get your hand back up there. Yeah. All right. Well, you were close. You almost explained it. I almost saw you like actually grab, I almost saw something appear. He was grabbing something. Well, let's let's let's just let's uh let's act it out, right? So, we're in the space of social media. We're looking, I'm looking at our clusters of content. Okay. What do I do now? Okay. How can you bring us together? Cuz we're lonely. We're lonely. We haven't experienced empathy in years. [laughter] Perhaps please. Principal component analysis. I need component analysis. I'm going to [ __ ] punch this guy. [laughter] How do you get us closer, dude? This is what people need. Component analysis. I think that's what everyone What does that mean? What is this? Bring everyone together. Basically, like basically, you got this. Uh, you're so close. You're so close. You can speak. Okay. Start with a basic. Let's get some inspirational music. He's got music. Okay. Look, we can show people their perspectives and their echo chambers and their biases. Hell yeah. So, by showing them what the algorithm is biased to show them, we can also show them what's outside their perspective. Yeah. Out of the comfort zone. Yes. And like we can move them closer towards scientifically accurate. Hell yeah. Like news and information because Yeah. Oh yes. Because what happens when you step out of your comfort zone? What happens? Your algorithm will show a southern guy a gay guy. Huh? Right. What? Sorry. I don't know. You'll be showing a southern guy a gay guy. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. We can Yeah. Yeah. We can connect them. Yeah, we can connect them. No, because of your empathy. Yeah. Like to break the biases of people. You'll be showing them stuff that the algorithm usually doesn't show them. Are you just saying pedophile and adult? Yeah. Not exactly. You'll connect this child with that [laughter] creep. You'd be showing her an equitable partnership. [laughter] Yeah. Wait, so you're you're just showing people stuff they don't want to see. Well, okay. That's that's one argument, right? Okay. One you stopped showing that guy dumplings. [laughter] Actually, I think you're right. I think this guy just tried to develop a suggestion algorithm and it turned out so bad. You found a framing that it's an anti-suggestion. So, you show people what they don't want to see. Well, okay. So, that's to make them empathetic. Well, we we give them more control instead of doom scrolling and getting the next like dopamine hit. You put your phone down cuz it sucks what whatever you're showing. So [laughter] bad. You're like, 'This is terrible.' You could do that. You could also uh tap select a topic or type a topic and then swipe. Semantic swiping. So you you can you can semantic swiping. How complicated is it? Just because you do doesn't mean semantic swiping makes sense. Well, how does one semantically swipe? This is regular swiping. Yes. This is semantic swiping. Okay, that is not an intuitive gesture. And and this is a fingering a lady. Wa. And this is semantic swiping. And that's fingering a lady. Hey, this could be fingering anyone. That's your biases. Show me something quick. Show [laughter] me something. Do something else. That was a bias, Jesse. You could finger anyone. I I will not finger anyone. I can say that. No. Inspirational music, please. Wait, is that like a principled stance? Please. No. No. Like, no. Why? Explain why you won't explain what you just said. He will not finger anybody. This is just campaign promise. I will not finger just anybody. [laughter] Total Comp and Candidate Interviews All right. Give me for this guy. Total comp. Go. [music] Lowest on this end. Lowest over here. Highest over there. [music] Okay. Okay. Total comp. Go. It's currently zero. I feel like your total comp is like 20 silver [laughter] gold the balloons. How much? Uh $200 stipend. How frequently? Once a month. Yeah. Okay. Total comp? Zero. Okay. Bubble sword. On a technicality, don't get too excited. Total comp 40k. Total comp 150. Total comp 150. Total comp 240 or something. Total comp 150. Total comp 650. 650. Okay. Awesome. Okay. That's a nice lineup. Now, what we are going to do next is we're going to speak to each of them one by one in order to determine the most human among you. All right. All right, let's talk to the guy who looks like he's about to summon a falcon. Eagle. Bro, you look like you're about to summon an eagle and then it's going to take you away. I [laughter] pray. Uh, introduce yourself. What brought you on stage? Uh, I'm Alex and the call the uh question that brought me on stage was um if I was looking for a job. Okay. And you're like a dexterity and charisma build. Uh, yeah, something like that. Yeah. Okay. You look like a field mouse who wished he was a real boy. [laughter] May I ask about your pouch? for my pouch. I've been meaning to ask about that pouch of yours. [laughter] It's for the sun. That pouch is just dangling. It's for the sunglasses just in case you need to whip them out. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. What? Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Um, pitch yourself. Why should somebody hire you? Uh, I'm cool and I do good engineering work. I actually kind of believe in I believe [laughter] Yeah. And I'm very believable and trustworthy. Could you imagine hiring Theon from Game of Thrones to be a software engineer? [laughter] Uh, what makes you a good employee? Um, [laughter] bro, you're like the joke. What is happening? What the [ __ ] are you spazzing out? Wait. Okay. I don't I think he's crying right now. He's like Joaquin Phoenix Joker. I'm okay not knowing about your technical skills. I just want to know about you kind of like you're kind of interesting. So, what do you do for fun? Um, I go thrifting for fun. You go thrifting? Yeah. Yeah. Did you thrift this? Um, yes. Oh, I thought you took it off a dead bandit. Uh, [laughter] yeah. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I actually I actually pal. [laughter] Oh, I can't, dude. I didn't even clock. All right, pouch man. Get back there, little pouch boy. Is it cool that he works at Robin Hood and he looks like he works for Robin Hood? [laughter] The guy. You're one of the merry men. [laughter] Have you ever seen this guy before there? Yeah. Do you know what this is all about? I've probably seen him on a trail. Yeah, [laughter] probably. Please, please. You seem like a good guy. I I'm Drew and I'm just scared. Uh I don't I don't know what's going on. That's why I'm up here. Okay. Tell us about it. What you're wearing a Is that a Robin Hood hat? Yes, it is a Robin Hood hat. Yeah, but you're not but you're not in tech. I'm just I'm in HR, you know. I'm just I'm just doing it. Uh I don't know. I was [laughter] I was working in a sheet metal factory before this. I don't know how sheet metal factory. Yeah. And how did you find your way here? Um I just I just clicked on a link. Like that's how I I guess looking for um children camps near you. [laughter] You look like the last bluecollar worker in San Francisco. I'm not really blue collar, but I I appreciate it. I don't know. [laughter] I like working with my hands. Yeah. What do you He likes working with his hands. Yeah. What do you What do you like to do with your hands? They're communicating. Calm down. Calm down right now. Calm down. Calm [laughter] down. I like to I like to garden is is really what what I want to be doing. So farmer. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a farmer. Um I'm I'm growing tomato plants right now. Do they have Do they have a quest for this guy? [laughter] I'll be there in 5 years, dude. He just switched the location of his guard. [laughter] What? Um, what's your relationship to tech? Uh, my relationship to tech is this is my first What is he doing? Are you going out of bounds now, sir? What is happening? No, he's a [ __ ] He's just like walking out of bounds. Uh, yeah. This is just my first internship. Other than that, uh, I play on my phone, you know, that's tech, but that's that's my relationship. Yeah. Damn right it is. [laughter] Damn right it is. Cool. You're his relationship to tech is like plays on his phone. It's like I play on my phone, grow tomatoes. Introduce yourself. What brought you on stage? Hello. Uh, I'm Mon and I'm on stage because I love my job. You love your job. What do you do? I do love my job. Um, I work at Windborn Systems. We're a hardware company that makes you just slipped into an unskippable ad. Sorry. It's okay. You can you you can talk unnatural. What What What is What does the company do? We make We're a hardware company that makes weather balloons. Weather balloons. Yeah, weather balloons. Oh, that's how this guy finds children's summer camps. Yeah, it's true. He's a power user. [laughter] Why did we bring you up? Because I love my job. Oh, you love that. Wait, what about that? Do you love It sounded like you were like go through this? Oh, I love I love it. The thing about hardware is it's like software but like more work and less money. And I think that's really cool. More work and less money. A message for the people. Yeah. Do you do you think you're Okay. You complained about getting paid to hike. That's what most of these That's fair. Fair. Okay. Thank you. Do you have a gun for her? What's your name? What preschool do you date her at? Hello. Yes. Uh, my name is Valentina and I got called here because apparently I have good soft skills. Let's test that out immediately. Let's do it. Jesse is our coworker. Hello, Jessie. Just have a normal introduction. All right. Hi, Jesse. How you doing? Hey. Hi. Valentina, that's me. [laughter] So, what So, what was it like doing theater in high school? I don't know. Oh, maybe you could tell me a little about him. What? About your theater experience in high school? No, yours. Me, I did cooler stuff. Okay. Is this what you wanted to say to me when you came up or just like I was just congratulating you on the theater role and some lines. It was a big deal. No, I don't want to run lines in front of you cuz you said it was stupid. Sometimes it can be really rude. I'm working on it. Are you? I am. Really Not very good, but I am. Well, what are you doing to work on it? I'm I'm saying I'm working on it. All right. Okay. Uh, pause the scene here. I think we end the scene. Yeah. Yeah. That was uh really uncomfortable to watch. [laughter] That's great. That's what I'm going for. Deeply uncomfortable and disable. Exactly. Uh-huh. That's my brand. You're crushing it. What do you do? What do you do? I'm a software engineer. That makes sense. [clears throat] That makes sense. Checks out. Yep. Where? At Google. Okay. Product YouTube. Oh, [ __ ] We need that. And do you just [laughter] what what specifically do you do for YouTube? Are you just mostly like in charge of the YouTube comments because you have that vibe? [laughter] That's funny. Yes, I work in uh YouTube comments and post infrastructure. [laughter] That makes sense. The meanest person in the world is responsible for the comment section. Thank you. And where do you work? Some social media company. You know, you're not sure. [laughter] Well, probably if you if you make that much money. Meta too. Huh? Yeah. Good guess. Yeah, [laughter] she said meta. Oh, what do you do for them? I am an engineer. Mus. Engineer masseuse. Yeah, Actually. Wait, what? AK aka PM. Oh, you massage engineers into doing work. Dude, I thought this was one of those cool stories where that like girl got a job at Google and now she's like a trillionaire cuz she massaged people like early on. I think you have an incoming call. Somebody wants to talk to you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, hi there. [laughter] Ooh, my tricep is so sore. [laughter] Coding all day, jiujitsuing all night. Oh, how I need a massage and some code. [laughter] Um, okay. So, you work on the recommendation engine for Instagram. Okay. Do you think you could push the button for us? Yeah. Hook it up. Push the button. The the explode page button. Just a little bit of a Yeah, a little just a little just like a slight engine. [laughter] Okay. Um, my name is Kavia Menon and the prompt was if I have a Hinge profile and if they're specifically tech pros. I think you're really Look, you have a good job. Headspace. I used it like 10 years ago. It used to be cool. Yeah. Yeah, they're still cool. Yeah, they are still cool. You're really making me feel worse. I'm going to play your favorite guided meditation. All right, now just close your eyes. [laughter] And remember, I'm from Australia. Unskippable ad starting in 3 2 1. Tired of being anxious about the horrible state of world affairs? And close your eyes. [laughter] Can I stop this? No. All right. All right. Give me a Kavia. So, uh I um I'm at a kids camp. Are you a kid or are you the pedophile? I'm a counselor. Okay. Got it. And there's this guy that keeps throwing up. Okay. Okay. Let's get the music going. Oh god. Oh [ __ ] All right, Drew. Console your buddy Nikita. Nikita, I heard about this guy. Yeah. What's What's going on with the guy? Hey, man. [laughter] Hey, you heard about it? That's bad. That's bad. How did the word get out? Word's getting around town. You know that guy talking? Because this is bad. When the parents find out about this, this is bad. Okay, so we tried everything. He was everything. [laughter] [ __ ] everything. We tried putting up a fence around. We pretended like it was like a fun exercise. We got the kids. Okay. So, we got the kids to get some wooden stakes. We're like, 'Okay, we're going to learning,' but then we put up like a perimeter and then we got the kids to patrol and everything, but he just keeps [ __ ] showing up. Has anybody talked to him? Are we just always putting up obstacles, you know? Have we have we have we understood this guy? What What is he here? Like maybe he's trying to get his kid into the camp. Who knows? Have we talked? Huh? He did have some kids with him. Oh, okay. Was it like the same ones or like [laughter] is that the guy? I think that's the guy. I mean, oh no. Well, uh, see that's two more gone. That's seven kids this week. Like at this point, maybe we can work out some sort of a deal. So, are you telling Whoa, whoa, [laughter] I like this. Hey, man. I'm so sad. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah, I know. It's okay. It's all right. My dad went to Berkeley. The elf for my video game. [laughter] A Distraction Quest How did you? I'm just, I'm dreaming. I'm here to console you. This is amazing. Whoa, you're real. Yeah. I'm here to distract you from your loss of future potential. Ah, that's right. I know. I'm going to stupid Cal. Everything sucks now. I always wanted to go to Stanford. I know. Everyone does. Um, I just want to be distracted. I want to like go on a quest or something. Yeah. Dude, I've got an idea. Yeah. Can we go somewhere? Exclamation point! Whoa, whoa, [laughter] whoa. I heard about this kids camp. No, it's a fun adventure place. Nice.